Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
