Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
