i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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