I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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