fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Boobs speak an international language.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
