I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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