Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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