I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
