I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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