meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
