he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I know her cup size but not her name....
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