she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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