you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
