i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
