So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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