At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
