So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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