I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
