ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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