two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize