Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
