i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
