Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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