She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You can't just leave with hair like that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
