i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
