quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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