Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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