I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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