He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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