Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
