you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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