So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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