and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
