So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
