By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
