WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I smell stomach acid.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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