She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had sex on a roof
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
