Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
love makes seman taste better
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize