Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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