I want to have your abortion
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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