porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
