i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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