you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
meet me or not, i'm out of control
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
