i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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