dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize