Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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