I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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