Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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