you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
