The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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