I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
