Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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