Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
