Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
