I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
