guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
