5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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