I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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