I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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