a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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