so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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