im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
