just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
