we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
