I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
