I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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